A Portrait of the Exchange Student as a Young Idiot

FOR THE RECORD:
I am returning to 'Dolph in early February of next year.
(As a matter of fact, my plane ticket out of Japan is dated for the last day of January.)
I am going to Bard College of New York, where I will proudly be non-hippie, not become addicted to something almost as time-consuming and expensive as Japanese cartoons, and brag of my exploits in Japan, home of the whale-killers.
AND ALSO:
I intend to go to Otakon of that same year.
(And finally WIN THE TRIVIA CONTEST, ohhhhh yeah)

Thank you.

Today's post will be conducted in an episodic-like style, due to a lack of interest in the usual rambling-post form. (My lack of interest, mind.) These episodes are not told in any chronological order, and have been copied directly from a piece of scrap paper I had on my person at the time of each episode. I apologize for any inconvenience this might cause.
And now, the post.

***

Ohmygod. Just watched this absolutely terrifying episode of Doraemon. Nobita-kun had a kuri manju (chestnut-filled bun, actually quite delicious) but wanted more than one, so he convinced Doraemon to pour this stuff on it that made it replicate itself every couple of minutes. Obviously, he eats till he can't eat any more, leaving just one... which doubles... and then doubles its doubles... anyway, they end up with this huge enormous wave of kuri manju threatening to smother the house (and potentially, if uninhibited, TAKE OVER THE WORLD), so then Doraemon puts them in a bundle and ties the bundle to a rocket and blasts them into space. Nobita-kun walks away, swearing off kuri manju forever, while Doraemon chastises him for his greed, following him offscreen... both blissfully ignorant of the existence of a single kuri manju hiding beneath a trash can lid... replicating just as the screen goes black!

...Dangit. And I used to like kuri manju, too... *sulk*

***

An entertaining episode with my host father today: I was helping him make a table, holding boards together and suchlike, when he pointed to the table's frame and said "tsubaho." Oh, thinks I, nodding, that must mean "frame." So, to test out my new theory (standard procedure when trying to increase your vocabulary one word at a time), I ask if the car "mo tsubaho aru?" Uh-oh, thinks I, he looks kind of confused. Maybe a metal frame is called something else...? Then I ask if the house has a tsubaho - because, surely, I reason, that's made of wood... - to which my host father pauses, looks thoughtful, then nods, saying, "Un, demo... tsubasix."

***

Eureka! After much (much) searching and fiddling with the remote control, I have discovered the anime channel! (Also the Discovery Channel, and National Geographic, and FOX Japan, but... who cares about that? Cartoons, man!) Granted, all that ever seems to be on are episodes of first season Kinnikuman and City Hunter (which I would totally watch for the historical value, were they not intolerably awful), but I have faith. For one thing, there are always all these commercials for Tsubasa Chronicle and Nodame Cantabile, playing on Animax!... at some incomprehensible time on some incomprehensible day, or starting in September. Well.

There are also a couple music channels, though most of it is bad (i.e. Bump of Chicken, misono, one-hit wonder duos and idols, non-Perfume cute-girl groups, non-cute pretty boys doing synchronized dancing), but when I am lucky someone plays GReeeeN's "Kiseki," which must be my favorite song ever. At first I felt it was overplayed into oblivion, but by now I have heard it so many times that I am infatuated with it and will eagerly comb the singles section of the used-CD stores in search of a copy. (Typically, everyone is being smart and keeping their copies instead of donating/selling them, so I still don't have it.) Although I have heard it a retarded number of times, the only part of the lyrics I know is the phrase "chiisana shiawase" (literally "small happiness"), the thought of which inevitably both revitalizes my internal campaign against stagnant daily life and makes me want to cry. (It was also the song that played during the hanabi - fireworks - at the Nansho school festival.)

***

[Note on Japanese phonics:
Japanese does not have a "tu"-like sound; the possible "t" syllables are ta, chi, tsu, te, and to. (There is also no "ti." For example, if you ask a Japanese person to say the word "tuba," you will probably hear something closer to "chuba" - rhymes with "scuba." Also, the "h" syllables are ha, hi, fu, he, and ho, but these can also be considered the Japanese "f" syllables as well, or at least the closest that Japanese will come to the sound of an "f." The "fu" syllable should really be pronounced as "hu" - a phrasebook of mine once told me that you should shape your lips as if you were blowing out a birthday candle to say it properly.)]

...Still don't get the joke?
Tsubaho = two-by-four
Tsubasix = two-by-six

...Ah, the power of Engrish.