A Portrait of the Exchange Student as a Young Idiot

FOR THE RECORD:
I am returning to 'Dolph in early February of next year.
(As a matter of fact, my plane ticket out of Japan is dated for the last day of January.)
I am going to Bard College of New York, where I will proudly be non-hippie, not become addicted to something almost as time-consuming and expensive as Japanese cartoons, and brag of my exploits in Japan, home of the whale-killers.
AND ALSO:
I intend to go to Otakon of that same year.
(And finally WIN THE TRIVIA CONTEST, ohhhhh yeah)

Thank you.

Today's post will be conducted in an episodic-like style, due to a lack of interest in the usual rambling-post form. (My lack of interest, mind.) These episodes are not told in any chronological order, and have been copied directly from a piece of scrap paper I had on my person at the time of each episode. I apologize for any inconvenience this might cause.
And now, the post.

***

Ohmygod. Just watched this absolutely terrifying episode of Doraemon. Nobita-kun had a kuri manju (chestnut-filled bun, actually quite delicious) but wanted more than one, so he convinced Doraemon to pour this stuff on it that made it replicate itself every couple of minutes. Obviously, he eats till he can't eat any more, leaving just one... which doubles... and then doubles its doubles... anyway, they end up with this huge enormous wave of kuri manju threatening to smother the house (and potentially, if uninhibited, TAKE OVER THE WORLD), so then Doraemon puts them in a bundle and ties the bundle to a rocket and blasts them into space. Nobita-kun walks away, swearing off kuri manju forever, while Doraemon chastises him for his greed, following him offscreen... both blissfully ignorant of the existence of a single kuri manju hiding beneath a trash can lid... replicating just as the screen goes black!

...Dangit. And I used to like kuri manju, too... *sulk*

***

An entertaining episode with my host father today: I was helping him make a table, holding boards together and suchlike, when he pointed to the table's frame and said "tsubaho." Oh, thinks I, nodding, that must mean "frame." So, to test out my new theory (standard procedure when trying to increase your vocabulary one word at a time), I ask if the car "mo tsubaho aru?" Uh-oh, thinks I, he looks kind of confused. Maybe a metal frame is called something else...? Then I ask if the house has a tsubaho - because, surely, I reason, that's made of wood... - to which my host father pauses, looks thoughtful, then nods, saying, "Un, demo... tsubasix."

***

Eureka! After much (much) searching and fiddling with the remote control, I have discovered the anime channel! (Also the Discovery Channel, and National Geographic, and FOX Japan, but... who cares about that? Cartoons, man!) Granted, all that ever seems to be on are episodes of first season Kinnikuman and City Hunter (which I would totally watch for the historical value, were they not intolerably awful), but I have faith. For one thing, there are always all these commercials for Tsubasa Chronicle and Nodame Cantabile, playing on Animax!... at some incomprehensible time on some incomprehensible day, or starting in September. Well.

There are also a couple music channels, though most of it is bad (i.e. Bump of Chicken, misono, one-hit wonder duos and idols, non-Perfume cute-girl groups, non-cute pretty boys doing synchronized dancing), but when I am lucky someone plays GReeeeN's "Kiseki," which must be my favorite song ever. At first I felt it was overplayed into oblivion, but by now I have heard it so many times that I am infatuated with it and will eagerly comb the singles section of the used-CD stores in search of a copy. (Typically, everyone is being smart and keeping their copies instead of donating/selling them, so I still don't have it.) Although I have heard it a retarded number of times, the only part of the lyrics I know is the phrase "chiisana shiawase" (literally "small happiness"), the thought of which inevitably both revitalizes my internal campaign against stagnant daily life and makes me want to cry. (It was also the song that played during the hanabi - fireworks - at the Nansho school festival.)

***

[Note on Japanese phonics:
Japanese does not have a "tu"-like sound; the possible "t" syllables are ta, chi, tsu, te, and to. (There is also no "ti." For example, if you ask a Japanese person to say the word "tuba," you will probably hear something closer to "chuba" - rhymes with "scuba." Also, the "h" syllables are ha, hi, fu, he, and ho, but these can also be considered the Japanese "f" syllables as well, or at least the closest that Japanese will come to the sound of an "f." The "fu" syllable should really be pronounced as "hu" - a phrasebook of mine once told me that you should shape your lips as if you were blowing out a birthday candle to say it properly.)]

...Still don't get the joke?
Tsubaho = two-by-four
Tsubasix = two-by-six

...Ah, the power of Engrish.

In Which INVISIBLEMAN!Inui/Snakewifey!Kaidou Is Canon Like Your Mother

...Err, sorry for the wait? It kinda kept slipping my mind, honestly. But, just in case, here's June in a sentence. I got: sunburned, grounded, my hair cut, humiliated, enough books to last me through another Cold War, a cold, a little homesick for anything non-fish, a couple cookbooks in Japanese and using the metric system (double the translation!), homework, a kanji test, lost, a wind-bell, interrogated about Prison Break, enormously depressed, a pretty tank top, too much cotton candy, the answer to The Murder of Roger Ackroyd before Agatha Christie tells you, CLAMP figurines, two bags of marshmallows, sheet music by Yiruma, Winamp skins, inspired, and to finally touch a PS2 after a three-month-plus famine. (In other words, you didn't miss much.)

Oh, and did I mention that I'm still in school? And that I'll remain so until, hmm, the last week of July? Yeah. Oodles of fun, that. *grouse grouse*

Anyway, things are very busy now 'cause of the Nansho School Festival (Nanshosai) coming up. It's next weekend, and everyone's working super hard for it. The festival is three days long, but there are really only a couple of major events that we're preparing for - namely, the parade, the food stall, and the stage. For the last one, I'm apparently going to be an MC (?!?!! - but someone else will write what I'm supposed to say, thank God) and I've also been recruited for a dance group (to... "Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride"...?!). So hooray! Synchronized dancing for the win! Most of the clubs (kendo included) have been temporarily suspended for the sake of the festival, since almost everyone's staying late after school every day (till about 7:30!). There's a group of kids, for instance, whose sole task it is to sew each classroom's costumes for the parade. Each class has a different theme for the parade, which they pick themselves and buy the materials for. In fact, I even watched a video of last year's parade - it was really cool! One class did brides and grooms - they obviously had a lot of boys - and then another did angels and demons, cheerleaders and jocks, Akihabara geeks and maids (not kidding about this, really). There was even one class where everyone was dressed up like Son Goku, and someone toted around a boombox playing the opening theme to Dragonball Z.

So what's my class theme, you ask? ...Well, with such predecessors, it's only natural that we pick something awesome (and super-nerdy). You know. Something like, oh...

Mario and Peach.

(...My only regret is that we can't do Toad. He's sooooo cute! Oh well.)

But yes, we really are doing Mario and Peach. Our class's group of sewing girls have been hard at work making twenty pairs of blue overalls and red caps for the past week or so - they haven't even gotten around to cutting out all the pink fabric the Peach costumes are going to require. (I'm being Peach, by the way. I always pick her for Mario Party, so it's only natural...)

Okay, gotta go - I just finished Prince of Tennis this morning, and I've been looking forward to diving into this colossal fandom for some time. What a ridiculous series, though. It kicks physics in the face with every new counter Fuji invents. (Don't even get me started on "synchro" - or, as I prefer to call it, celestial maidens!Golden Pair. I mean, hello, tendrils of cloud everywhere. I can practically hear the unintelligible Chinese warbling in the background.) And that art. Truly, there is no other word for it but heinous. Still, while I have no respect for Konomi Takeshi (especially with his flagrant gay-bashing - the irony! Surely he doesn't think it's boys sending in 12000 votes for Keigo Atobe in the popularity polls...?), I have a very healthy fear of this monstrous fandom, which may very well be called the flagship yaoipalooza. Don't even get me started on the doujinshi. It may have passed out of its golden age some time ago, but by no means does that mean that this fandom is dead. Eep.